So it's been awhile since I've been here...I might as well get one more in before the new year! This last year has flown by...I can't believe how each year goes by faster and faster! JV is 3 and the most dramatic and expressive little girl, she's beautiful and sweet and I love her more now, than ever! And then there's MC, 10 1/2 months and crawling everywhere and walking around things (she actually thinks she's bigger than she is) :) And if we thought JV was dramatic this little lady tops her! But my heart melts when I see her smile at me! We've made progress on the house yet more things come up and so we keep plugging along. I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and I hope next year is even better then this last one!!

Things to Ponder

Where to begin? I'm back to the what should I be doing with my life question...it's a constant! I've got to find a way to either work from home or work part-time...from home :) I want to be with my children more! With JV going to pre-school soon and then MC growing up so fast, I NEED MORE TIME! Trying to convince the boss of this is another battle in itself. He's a wonderful provider for me but sometimes I wonder what he's thinking! I know he's paving the way for us for the future BUT I want to enjoy my life and not just when I'm 50 :)

It's amazing how I feel when my house is organized and clean! The living room is almost complete! One more component and then we can move on to our bedroom! What a man! He does all the things on my honey-d0 list and some I don't even ask for!

So the question came up between the boss and myself, when we wanted to start "trying" again....I said it depends :) If I get to stay home, then I'd be ready at any point but if I have to go back to work, I'd like to wait just a bit :) And this is all dependent upon us having a boy!!!! Good luck right!!

Not Mission Impossible

So it's been a while since I've sat down and had words with my computer. Things are so busy right now! We just had my parents 30th wedding anniversary, a surprise party :) That was great! All their friends came and they were very surprised, ok so my mom was surprised, my dad is to smart for something like that! But we held it on my birthday, just early enough to make them wonder if it really was a party for my birthday (which we told them it was) :) My wonderful sisters were a huge part of this! I couldn't have done it with out them! And to top it all off they got me a wonderful gift for my birthday! Then this coming weekend is JV's birthday, she'll be 3! Wow! And then we are almost to October!

I feel like I'm floating through time, the weeks the days just going through the motions, it's hard to stand on shifting sand. I don't feel like I've had time to sit and enjoy dinner, I'm always worried about getting the kitchen cleaned up that night. Taking time to enjoy my girls, play with them and watch them grow! Or spend some "quality" time with the boss, God knows he needs it :) And then what about the time for myself, how do I take that time and not feel guilty for it. I feel pulled in so many directions by so many people, when can I sit and not worry about time flying by or who's going to do the laundry or will my children do well in school and then what to do when they graduate. Mom worries I know, I never thought I'd lose myself through it all though. Mission #1 - gain control again and enjoy something for myself!!

My Typical Day

So, I find myself sitting at my computer after making dinner, playing with the girls, then cleaning up from dinner, giving MC a bath, watching JV "fix" the walls with her daddy (tools and all, though I think she really just made it worse) and then finally putting the girls to bed. Then I logged onto work to get just a few more things done, and now it's 10:22...I'd really like to read a book, surf the web maybe, watch a little HGTV (my fav!!) but truth be told, I'll end up going to bed because I'm exhausted! ugh! Oh don't forget making the pasta salad for Altar Society for the funeral tomorrow....it never ends!!

I wish I could get a better grip on things around here! We just bought paint for the Master bedroom and part of the living room!! I'm so excited! But I look around and wonder why there aren't more hours in a day! I need to clone myself, one to cook, one to clean, one to play with the girls and one to take care of the boss...why is that not possible!! lol

The boss is mudding the living room walls! He is such a wonderful worker! He does such a great job! I know my house will take a while to get done but it'll be perfect!! Another day in my life as a mommie!!

Beautiful Reality

It has rained all day, I love it! Though my hair does not!! All I can think of is "let it rain, let it pour" in a very sing-songy way (a very grown-up sing-songy way). I would love to curl up on the couch beside the window and watch the rain pour from the sky while reading a book immersing myself in another world. But then my child screams "mommie! I need to potty!" and my husband asks me what's for dinner and once again MC is hungry....life.

I pull myself out of my fantasy world and back into my beautiful reality.

I've been doing that a lot lately, finding myself day dreaming about the things I want to do in my life. Like what I want to be when I grow up. I should probably already know this but it seems it's always changing. Is it like that for everyone? I'm afraid that if I speak about the things I'm passionate about, the things I would LOVE to be that they will somehow disappear. That once I verbalize them and act upon them that they will turn into my muted everyday life I've come to know. Or will keeping them as day dreams keep them lively and exciting in my mind...

Looking Forward

My husband and I are in the middle of "remodeling" our house, I say that loosely because I feel like we've been doing that since we moved in!! I see some progress as of lately, we have now moved onto the living room. And FINALLY all the wainscoting has been removed!! Thank you! It really dated the house in my opinion, and I'm really excited to finally get some paint on the walls in my living room which in turn means I can decorate it! Though Stephen does NOT like holes in the walls....so I see some negotiations in the near future!!

I'm trying to look at my life and the things I enjoy. What do I want to do, what makes me happy. I need to re-evaluate my actions to see how they are affecting myself and those around me I love. How often does one do this? How often have I done this?

Evolve: to change, to grow, to develop gradually.

Blessed Life

So, many people will say they have a blessed life and I'm certain they do, but my heart believes that having a blessed life is in the eye of the beholder.

I wake up every morning look at my husband and can't imagine my life with out him. I walk down the hall and see my almost 3 year old (JV) get her up and take her to the potty, amazed at how fast time flies and how wonderfully imaginative her mind is, step into my 6 month olds room (MC) and watch her light up as mommie picks her up also amazed at how her smile makes my heart grow a little more every day. This is my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

As I sit here and try to write my first blog, MC is wailing next to me wishing her mommie would feed her. So as duty calls, I'll say good night and feed the baby. You might here me say that a lot!!